Weee! Come ride my Emotional Rollercoaster

The house is in escrow, but we’re still in the “unsafe zone” where the buyers could pull out at anytime. We’ll feel a little more secure by Feb 12 when they are supposed to put their money down. We’ve been on edge for weeks, trying to figure everything out, packing, job-hunting, getting licenses, worrying about health insurance. It’s weird to think about having to be out and gone in 40 days. I started to pack a little bit. No job or house to speak of yet. We’re planning a trip to Oregon next week for a recon mission to find housing, etc. Can you register a vehicle with a PO box? Probably not. As far as a job, I’ve spoken to several agencies who want me to either do a travel assignment or work per diem in staffing. I figured this will give me a feel for what the hospitals are like in the area and I won’t be locked into a schedule so much. I have been looking into getting temporary health insurance, but I’m not eligible because I have a pre-existing condition and have had “recent cardiovasular procedures.” I feel like an old woman. I tried to say I didn’t have any diseases because I don’t know whether to classify it as pulmonary since my lungs are healthy and I don’t want to say it’s cardiac since my heart is fine, but there’s something in between the two that gum up the works a bit, but I didn’t know how to classify it. To sum it all up, I’ll probably end up paying an outrageous amount of money for health insurance if I don’t get a job right away. For the amount of money I have to spend on premiums, I could pay for my next angioplasty with cash.

Redford, our cat, disappeared a few months ago. He’s gone off before and then come back after up to 5 days. He never came back this last time and we never knew what happened to him. He had a collar with his name and our address on him so I guess we’ve held out some glimmer of hope that he’d show up again. We know, in reality, he probably got killed by a coyote or something and we really miss him.

Sunday, as I was going out I got out of the truck to open the gate at the end of our driveway and I saw something hanging on the gate. I got closer and picked it up curiously and was shocked and saddened to find it was Redford’s collar with his little brass heart tag still attached. The collar wasn’t torn, bloody, or broken. It was unsnapped, but Monica told me that the collar was a break-away so he could have lost it a long time ago. There was no note or anything explaining who put it there or where it was found which makes it even more heart-wrenching. I wish whoever had found it hadn’t returned it because now I have even more questions about what happened to him. I’ve been sad about it for days.

Then I was at the gym the other day and saw the news that they euthanized Barbaro, the Kentucky Derby horse and I got emotional all over again. I think I need drugs. I was angry because I think horse racing is cruel anyway and I felt really bad for this poor horse who had to suffer and then be killed because people are greedy.

Please wait until the ride comes to a complete stop before disembarking. Thank you.

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